This is Your Life

My life is not a revolutionary act.

I’ve been trying to sit down to write this post for a week. Since a friend sent me the screenshot of a tweet that read:
 
“there’s a mvmnt of sorts on tiktok & youtube of black young women saying they are ok being average in looks & achievements & that they don’t necessarily want a high power/paying job. we need some solid writing about how this embrace of mediocrity can be a revolutionary act.”
 
It was the kind of hyperbolic word salad that drove me off Twitter in the first place, but my friend meant it as a compliment. For the last few years, I and the other mutual friend she shared it with have openly set aside notions of our extraordinariness in favor of just… living. She lauded us as visionaries in her text but it wasn’t long before we were picking the statement apart.

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Mirrors, Cameras, & Lies

Photo by Ria Alfana on Unsplash

I like my face. Getting too attached to any version other than the one that greets me in the morning is a slippery slope to not liking it.

Lately, I find myself doing subtle facial retouches on my selfies.
 
That I’m writing about this tells you where we are as a society (the Bad Place), but as someone who is staunchly anti-makeup and pro “my face is my face,” I owe myself an explanation. An explanation you all get to witness. Here goes.

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The Death of Youth

I don’t want to be pressed about anything — least of all worrying if I’ve still got “it.”

I am not a young person.
 
Your instinct is to gasp. To launch into litanies about how much life I have to live and that I’m only as old as I feel and that 38 is the new 28 and all the other platitudes that make women feel better about aging and I’m going to stop you right there.
 
I did not call myself an “old” person. I said I’m not young.
 
As I observe my peers contemplating age and self-expression, I see the struggle. Letting go of youth means you’re old. Submitting to a sad life of mom jeans and sensible shoes or acting out a real-life Saturday Night Live sketch about old bitches in the club.

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