Occasionally, I ask myself who I have more irrational hatred for: L*b*n J*m*s or T*m Br*dy. This week? It’s definitely T*m Br*dy.
Just when I think it’s over. While the Lakers experiment fails spectacularly and that 45-year-old cyborg finally decides to go home to his supermodel wife and children…
HERE HE COMES. LIKE A FUCKING REVENANT. TO HAUNT MY SPORTS LIFE IN PERPETUITY.
I almost got rid of “housekeeping” as the title for these hodgepodge posts (it does not hit the way “skinny bits” did). But thinking about it, these posts are like sweeping out the corners of my mind. So maybe they’re aptly named. The name can stay for the time being, I guess.
My favorite wordsmith, Joan Didion the Pen Gawd, passed away mere hours after my last post. As all the writing and thinking girls posted their mini-eulogies, I considered doing the same here, but couldn’t even pretend my pen was up to the task. Maybe one day, when I’m on better terms with words, I’ll tell the love story that began with an MFA reading assignment and my bathroom floor.
When I’m not slacking on writing here, I write A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of the Thrones fanfic. Yes, I’m nearly 38-years-old writing fanfic, but it’s a good time, keeps the creative juices flowing, and I’m actually pretty decent at it.
Imagine your favorite Game of Thrones characters in a modern political universe a la Scandal and Olivia Pope. Like Robb Stark as a 33-year-old war hero/congressman, the Lannisters as an uber-wealthy oil and gas family, Jon Snow as an ex-cop-turned-fixer, Danaerys Targaryen as a rebellious princess in a royal family grasping for relevance in modern times.
That sort of thing.
If this sounds like your jam (or you just love me and want to follow everything I do), check out my latest update.
By the Old Gods & the New: A Scandal Westeros Story
LIONS, AND STAGS, AND WOLVES. OH, MY! It’s a sad, sad day as the republic lays Joffrey Lannister Baratheon — Prince of Privilege, Powder, and Pills — to rest. My Little Birds report that after tense negotiations — managed through attorneys as the deceased’s parents refuse to speak to one another (mayhaps the Lioness of the Rock still holds a grudge over that nasty business around her ex’s litter of bastards) — the Lannisters and Baratheons finally agreed that Joffrey will be laid to rest in the Westerlands this Saturday.
Speaking of Stags, Robert Baratheon will make his first public appearance on this side of the Narrow Sea since he was booted out of the Prime Minister’s office for misappropriating government funds. And with our distinguished Justice Minister Stannis Baratheon (who kinslayed his brother’s career led the investigation against Robert) and People’s Councilman Renly Baratheon (who voted for Robert’s removal and clung to those flowery Tyrell coattails to save his future) in attendance, we can expect a fury-filled family reunion for the Stag Bros.
We wonder if any of those Stray Stags will see their trueborn brother laid to rest? My Little Birds say that debonair businessman Edric Storm has found a seat at the Baratheon table thanks to his Uncle Renly. Might the lovely Bella Rivers strut those infamous pole-twirling legs into the service as well?
And if that’s not enough intrigue, let us not forget the deceased’s happy widow ex-wife. With ink still dripping from her divorce papers, we expect the ever dutiful Sansa Stark to pay her respects with her Northern wolfpack in tow: including People’s Councilman Robb Stark, his social-climbing fiancee, WKLN news anchor Roslin Frey, and the WHL rookie all-star and notorious off-the-ice stick slinger Rickon “The Wild Wolf” Stark.
Add appearances from soon-to-be Dornish princess, Myrcella Baratheon (Pop the question already, Prince Trystane!) and Future First Lady high society darling Margaery Tyrell, this funeral is sure to be a star-studded affair. Stay tuned to the Daily Whisper social feeds for up-to-the-minute updates on everything from funeral fashions to [potential] fisticuffs.
Serving the republic with piping hot tea now and always,
Varys Snyder
Editor-in-Chief of the Daily Whisper
My Third House Life 