“With so much personality, what do you want from me? 
I could be by myself and enjoy the company…” 

After two weeks in my home, I was excited to put on real clothes and a few swipes of mascara to head back to the office today.

Because if sitting on my couch screaming at episodes of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (by season five, every episode is End Game-level stress and who the fuck has the energy?) for ten days taught me anything worth knowing about myself, it’s the limits of my own company. Yes, I have a rich inner life. And years of experience as an only child. And nearly two years of COVID hermitting, but I am at the end of this particular rope. Yes, humanity is dangerously dumb and willfully ignorant and the world is stupid and there is a whole new round of plague in the air…

I do not care. 

To the degree that I can do so safely, I want out

A trip to the museum and Christmas lights and retail shopping and birthday dinners that I’ll even go so far as to get a full face of makeup for. Give me all the holiday cheer. All the revelry. All the sweater dresses that will have the privilege of gracing all these womanly curves. 


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a girl named rob

I used to be "skinny black girl." I'm now a slender woman on the other side of 35 with no new moniker who is not quite interested in writing under her given name. Still writing my life, a day (or some months) at a time. Also, still black.

5 thoughts on “Outside”

  1. Glad you’re well!

    I totally agree with the pomp and circumstance, but I don’t want to share. AT ALL. I’ve always felt like I needed to be a willing participant because people enjoy me, but nah. And Covid has given me carte blanche to be my true hermit self.

    I am perfectly giddy about curling up with my tartan blanket, in my Wintergreen robe, watching the home alones…..being home alone. Eggnog and gingerbread cookies. I even have 4 day vacation weekends leading up to a complete week off before the holiday. Oh, it’s a go!

    For the very reason that people are completely ridiculous, eremite me, please. My Leo rising shall be satisfied with knowing the sun shines bright behind the total eclipse.

    I hope you enjoy all your festivities!


    1. Toward the end of this post, I had this thought: “All I want for Christmas is to act like a Leo.” If I felt like going full-tilt astro, I would have re-written the entire thing around that theme, but I liked it enough as is. But yes – that will be my gift to myself. Just going full Leo Rising with it through the New Year. lol


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