Housekeeping Vol. 4

Photo by Eden Constantino on Unsplash

There’s nothing like coming home after a vacation. Apparently, I’m not a “stare longingly at my vacation photos, thinking ‘Take me back’” person. I happily returned to my home, things, and routines. I even found myself eager to put on work clothes Monday morning and get back to the office. (This may or may not be related to how…um…exposed my fluffier parts were in my short shorts and bikinis. Yikes.) What can I say? Absence truly makes my heart grow fonder.

Since we’re talking about my fluffier parts, before my trip, I was already thinking about the next stage of my fitness journey: strength training. The year of walking did wonders in shifting my mindset on working out (it also did wonders on my legs, thighs, hips, and ass), and I was ready to start challenging myself. 

Saturday, I attempted this alleged Full Body Lazy Girl Workout and let me tell you, if this is the “lazy” version, ya girl has a long row to hoe. I thought I might add two strength workouts a week to my walking routine, but I’ll start with one and work my way up to two in a month or so. For now, getting in the habit matters more than the result. Once strength work becomes a habit, I’ll see where I am and consider some goals.

Here’s the thing about R&B Voldemort finally going to jail… In 2021, if you choose to listen to that man’s music, I need you to let that be your business instead of trying to assuage your shame by convincing the rest of us he somehow got a raw deal. He didn’t.

How you negotiate your values and actions is between you, your loved ones, and whatever god you serve, so I don’t care about your listening habits. I do care that you’re defending a fucking monster because people on the internet make you feel bad about your choices. If you can’t do one without the other, ask yourself why.

One of the more literal manifestations of astrology in my life recently has been intense skin inflammation when Mars is in hard aspect to my natal Sun. The sorta-like-eczema breakouts on my face and neck flared up pretty badly when Mars was in Aries (opposite my Sun) in the spring. By summer, I appeared to be getting back to normal, but nope. As soon as Mars entered Libra, everything went bonkers again. With Mars conjunct my Sun for this year’s Solar Return, I really hope I’m not in for another full year of skin issues. Between the dry, patchy skin and the midsection fluff, I don’t know how much more my ego can take.

My birthday is in 11 days. I’m happy to see another year and will honor the day with some quiet reflection, but I’m over getting dolled up and having people gather in my the name of getting me drunk for the foreseeable future.  We’ll see how I feel at 40 (I’m really feeling a solo trip to Seattle but we’ll play that by ear), but for now, all I want for my 38th birthday is a cleaning service to handle the neglected baseboards in my apartment. 

While hanging out for four hours in LAX, I picked up Gabrielle Union’s new memoir You Got Anything Stronger?. I’m about 85% through it and have enjoyed her sarcasm and candor as always (I often consider her my celebrity variant — or maybe I’m her layperson variant?), but she’s doing the thing that women who aren’t inherently vulnerable or nurturing do when they get married or have kids and convert to the church of love and family. Like the thing Jeannie Mai is doing

I don’t want to project my shit onto the lives of women I do not know. And if they’re happy, I’m happy for them.  But. I do take issue with the notion that they’ve somehow “grown” because they’ve changed their minds about marriage/children, instead of just choosing something different.

So please, please don’t use celebrity examples to judge the women in your lives who don’t want marriage or children. Who are a little distant and a lot sarcastic and not into traditional “happily ever afters.” Many of us aren’t the “right one” away from “changing our whole mindset” and your insistence that’s all it takes is annoying as fuck. 

That kind of thinking is exactly why I was so happy to have my tubes removed. I got so tired of people thinking my choices were conditional upon finding the right man.

Things I’m Into Right Now: 

  • Harlie Quinn & Titans on HBOMaxSince I’m enjoying What If on Disney Plus, I finally gave HBO’s animated series Harlie Quinn a chance and yo. It’s as good as advertised. Adult, laugh-out-loud hilarious, and fun storytelling. I inhaled the first season in one sitting. Because I was on a DC kick, I then started Titans and I didn’t immediately love it, but it’s grown on me. It’s dark, which I always like. And the Dick Grayson/Robin character is jusssst my type of violent/conflicted hero. 
  • Priest by Sierra Simone: Okay. So. Don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m a fairly rabid consumer of dirty fiction. No “guilty pleasure” about it — it’s fun. You want to talk about a brow-raising read? Try a man of the cloth who suddenly finds himself tested by one of his parishioners. Extra points for the academic/philosophical conversations about God and religion sandwiched between some very sacrilegious/blasphemous sex scenes. 
  • “Goddess” x Jaira Burns: “I’m a goddess/ I’m fuckin’ flawless/ let’s not be modest…” As the kids say, “energy.” After hearing this song on a book trailer, I’ve had it on repeat on-and-off since August. This will def be my theme song going into a double Venus year on my next birthday (more on that in a later post).

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a girl named rob

I used to be "skinny black girl." I'm now a slender woman on the other side of 35 with no new moniker who is not quite interested in writing under her given name. Still writing my life, a day (or some months) at a time. Also, still black.

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