Problem Solved

Yesterday’s post is a testament to the power of telling my story out loud. And I don’t mean grand scale, “change the world” power. I mean seeing my thoughts outside my head unlocks answers for me.

The question “What do I want to do” does not have an ultimate answer. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. And the purpose of creating a life where I answer to so few people is that I don’t have to know. I’m not on anyone’s schedule. I have nothing but freedom to toddle around and adjust on the fly.

Younger Me really knew what she was doing when she cleared out all this time and space for me. Love her for that. 

Now that we’ve done the major moment of clarity, we’re gonna transition this post into something more mundane.


What I Want to Do right now is take on a personal project. Something that will get me outside my house, engage my mind/creativity, and yield a tangible result. 

This project, ladies, theydies, and gentlemen, is a wardrobe refresh. 

[I paused to clap after I typed that if you want to know how excited I am about this.]

On the face of it, this project sounds frivolous. Maybe it is, but I reserve my right to be frivolous, as there are worse sins a human being can commit.

Re-doing my wardrobe solves a big problem for me: I’m approaching middle age in a body that’s undergone some permanent changes in the last two years and I need an aesthetic that reflects such. I am increasingly frustrated with the online shopping experience and guessing “what works best for my shape” based on conventional wisdom, Pinterest boards full of clothes I can’t actually buy, and some celebrity who is “sort of” shaped like me wearing shit I can’t afford.

I want to look my age and dress for my day-to-day life; not take fashion cues from  lifestyle peddlers who don’t have mundane concerns such as “does this adhere to my office’s dress code?” and “can I throw this on for a quick trip to Target and still look like I give a fuck about myself?”

The first phase of my project is honing my aesthetic instincts. Because even when I can’t articulate what I like, I know it when I see/feel it. So I spent some time perusing the Calvin Klein section on the Nordstrom Rack website and boom. 

I like classic, structured pieces in mostly neutral colors with the occasional splash of a rich, jewel tone. I also know that I prefer reliable, traditional, mid-tier priced brands. Calvin Klein, Express, Gap/Banana Republic, and the like. I’m a thirty-seven-year-old executive assistant living in Ohio. I’m not an influencer. I don’t need to look like I’m heading to a Real Housewives brunch every day; I can make simple, department/mall chain chic work.

The next phase is to visit each of these brick-and-mortar stores over the next few weeks to determine my sizes and preferred cuts in each. Then, I can restrict my online shopping to these stores, specifically, trusting that I’ll like the items that arrive in my home.

So, yes. I am solving an existential crisis with…shopping. 

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a girl named rob

I used to be "skinny black girl." I'm now a slender woman on the other side of 35 with no new moniker who is not quite interested in writing under her given name. Still writing my life, a day (or some months) at a time. Also, still black.

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