Change Is Good

Yesterday was my last day on the internet as “Skinny Black Girl.”

It was sudden on purpose. I’ve had Third House Life in the back of my mind for a little over two years now, but when I publicly considered changing my social media handles, I received a resounding “no” from my followers and acquiesced. I was “Skinny Black Girl,” after all. And how would I feel if someone picked up the name after I relinquished it and cashed in on years of (unintentional) brand-building?

So, I held on.

Until my body demanded I do otherwise.

Going from a size 4 to a size 6 in a pandemic that’s left me stuck in my apartment for a year wasn’t jarring. By December, the 6s that I purchased to replace the 4s…didn’t fit either. I took my measurements repeatedly, aghast when my 37-30-39 put me firmly in a size 8 (occasionally 10), and every clothing purchase I made supported that fact.

I freaked out. On social media. In my friends’ inboxes. Demanding to know whose body was this and what had she done with my can-wear-just-about-anything frame. No matter how many “you look amazing” replies I received to pics I sent my girlfriends, no matter how many times I heard “I know you’re used to being like…a size two, but this isn’t bad,” I could not reconcile my reflection with my idea of myself.

Because my idea of myself was “Skinny Black Girl.”

As a self-professed pragmatist, I had but one choice.

*****

So, here we are. My Third House Life.

In short, it’s an astrology reference to the prevalent theme of communications—specifically, writing and journaling–in my natal chart. It’s less personality-driven than “Skinny Black Girl,” and perhaps that’s for the best. I’m no longer “skinny,” am more “woman” than “girl,” and don’t need a persona so big it leaves little room for anything else.

The end of an era, for sure. But a new beginning.

Published by

a girl named rob

I used to be "skinny black girl." I'm now a slender woman on the other side of 35 with no new moniker who is not quite interested in writing under her given name. Still writing my life, a day (or some months) at a time. Also, still black.

2 thoughts on “Change Is Good”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s